Fangala the Flying Feline

I like how the first sentence is an exclamation. Your writing flows nicely, but you need to space it. Jena Night...what an awesome name! You make the reader wonder about ...

Incredible, incredible! It makes me purr. :D You've really got rhyming poetry down, which I love. Inspiring imagery, lots of emotions, um...I really can't say anything bad about this!

This is NOT bad! I really enjoyed this; the lamp idea is wonderfully creative and intriguing. You did a good job with Dani's voice, making her sound like a real ...

I'm sorry to say this didn't stick with me. You over-used the word "proud" and your rhyme scheme needs work; it sounds forced. Also, you should give concrete examples. Like, ...

This is beautiful! Why hasn't anybody responded to this yet? I love your imagery--how the snow was "virgin white" and it flew like spirits. Honestly, I don't have any complaints. ...

*blinks* Did I miss something? This is way short, but I totally understand the beauty of a short poem. Very powerful statement, but I think it's more like a quote ...

I agree with everybody--this is very cute. Especially the last line. Love how you put it in bold. There's just one thing you might consider changing, and that's the rhyme ...

First off, I think you should break this into verses. Just makes it easier to read, you know? Imagery would make this stronger. Why is this life so bleak? How ...

The chorus is beautiful, but the rest needs a little work. Don't get me wrong--I love this! But I think you should either correct the capitalization or put the whole ...

Your first paragraph is very intriguing, but you do need to break up the rest of it. Also, putting actual numbers in your writing makes it seem like a math ...

Haha, I can relate to this. I agree that you could use some imagery, but don't go overboard. Just give more concrete examples of how evil the distributive property is; ...

Mupert?!!? Good god, I love that name. Look, I can tell by your writing that you're a very good writer. What's more, you constructed a remarklably-random story with plot AND ...

Yay, running in the rain! Fun, isn't it? Anyway, the fist thing that struck me was that you have to stop saying "was." (I know this because it's one of ...

Just like people are saying, this is a good working outline, but you don't need any of it. Instead of straight-out telling the reader you're not popular, give juicy, concrete ...

This poem has real potential! You've got some good phrases in there; you just need to narrow it down and get rid of empty rhymes. I would suggest making the ...